Saturday, May 28, 2005
Songs to get Stung By
As I've been writing the "Opening Pandora's Box" series, I have been thinking about Steve a lot. The day I wrote the interview segment, I was listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler and man, did it hit me. For better or worse, this young man impacted my life in a big way. I am who I am in part out of surviving - and in some ways thriving in - those experiences.
I once told Steve that Now It's My Turn by Berlin, described how I felt about him pretty accurately. By then, I was fourteen; I could still find no other way to tell him how he'd hurt me. Listenning to that song now brings back feelings of growing self-respect that I felt in the years our affair dragged out.
Sex has forever-more been defined rather unconventionally - certainly not the romantic love scenes from the movies. But I mostly learned from Steve (and Tammy) what love wasn't.
Despite all that, my feelings for Steve were the feelings of a romantic school girl. Though I hid my feelings, in fear of his misuse of them. Despite how sour things turned - over and over again - with Steve, I still wish him the best. In many ways, those romantic school girl feelings are still there. Some crushes really do last forever, don't you think?
We lost touch long ago. And let's just say "Steve Roberts" is not an unusual enough name to track down by any means currently electronically available.
I often go through these sentimental stages, certain that every love I've ever felt for every man, woman, child, pet, has lived on in me. For better or for worse.
Fortunately, I have since learned what love is; thanks to C.
I once told Steve that Now It's My Turn by Berlin, described how I felt about him pretty accurately. By then, I was fourteen; I could still find no other way to tell him how he'd hurt me. Listenning to that song now brings back feelings of growing self-respect that I felt in the years our affair dragged out.
Sex has forever-more been defined rather unconventionally - certainly not the romantic love scenes from the movies. But I mostly learned from Steve (and Tammy) what love wasn't.
Despite all that, my feelings for Steve were the feelings of a romantic school girl. Though I hid my feelings, in fear of his misuse of them. Despite how sour things turned - over and over again - with Steve, I still wish him the best. In many ways, those romantic school girl feelings are still there. Some crushes really do last forever, don't you think?
We lost touch long ago. And let's just say "Steve Roberts" is not an unusual enough name to track down by any means currently electronically available.
I often go through these sentimental stages, certain that every love I've ever felt for every man, woman, child, pet, has lived on in me. For better or for worse.
Fortunately, I have since learned what love is; thanks to C.
Comments:
"I often go through these sentimental stages, certain that every love I've ever felt for every man, woman, child, pet, has lived on in me. For better or for worse."
Great line, I totally agree!
Great line, I totally agree!
i'm happy you found someone who you are in love with. it's amazing how a song can take you back to some old memory and sometimes it's a good thing but sometimes it's not. i have a hard time of letting go of those i love which is way i've stayed away from relationships for a long time.
i agree with jax, some memories never die. i think we have a lot to do with them. for me, i hold unto them because they meant so much to me. great post.
i agree with jax, some memories never die. i think we have a lot to do with them. for me, i hold unto them because they meant so much to me. great post.
I long ago discovered that love and sex are not only mutually exclusive, but more often than not separated by large chasms which cannot be bridged. We remember loves much more fondly than we remember sex, yet love can cause so much more pain.
Sometimes memories of love are frightening.
-G
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Sometimes memories of love are frightening.
-G
