Thursday, February 09, 2006
"What Makes You Happy?"
I was telling a friend how frustrated I've been lately. Both my mother and my partner (C) have said things to me which have implied that I am responsible for their happiness. Well, my mother has said it as bluntly and as directly as that.
Mom: My happiness depends upon you and how you behave.
C has not been so blunt, but the message has resounded just as clear. My friend then asked me, "Well, what makes you happy?" And I started to make the list:
-my job (I love my job)
-learning and growing both professionally and personally
-creating art
-surfing
-skateboarding
-the connection I feel with friends and family
-music
And the list went on. One thing I realized, after she asked me this, was that there isn't anyone on the list whom I expect to "make me happy." I do it for myself (well, except maybe with regards to sex). So, why then, do I accept responsibility for making the people whom I love happy? It's just finally occurring to me - that's not my job.
What makes YOU happy?
Mom: My happiness depends upon you and how you behave.
C has not been so blunt, but the message has resounded just as clear. My friend then asked me, "Well, what makes you happy?" And I started to make the list:
-my job (I love my job)
-learning and growing both professionally and personally
-creating art
-surfing
-skateboarding
-the connection I feel with friends and family
-music
And the list went on. One thing I realized, after she asked me this, was that there isn't anyone on the list whom I expect to "make me happy." I do it for myself (well, except maybe with regards to sex). So, why then, do I accept responsibility for making the people whom I love happy? It's just finally occurring to me - that's not my job.
What makes YOU happy?
Comments:
roads,
mountains,
big trees
swimming in coral ,
the smell of rotting forest floor,
big words
birds landing on my fingers
accents
women's hips
men's anterior, superior pelvic arch
licked lips
nibs candy
books
the smell of books
books books books
pop up books
holding hands
soft breath
heavy lidded eyes
big hugs
friends
family
adventure
home
mountains,
big trees
swimming in coral ,
the smell of rotting forest floor,
big words
birds landing on my fingers
accents
women's hips
men's anterior, superior pelvic arch
licked lips
nibs candy
books
the smell of books
books books books
pop up books
holding hands
soft breath
heavy lidded eyes
big hugs
friends
family
adventure
home
Yes, it is not your job!
Making art
Writing
Spicy food
Chocolate
Nature
Reading
Time with my boifriend
Laughing with friends
Group energy at parties
Cleaning my apartment
Watching t.v.
Going to the Movies
Playing with my cats
Taking Baths
Getting letters
Working with Children
Time with family
I wonder what the order of our lists mean? I know that I have felt like I have no time for doing art (including letter writing/decorating envelopes) and I don't like that. I even called my boifriend up crying and said, "You can go out but I can't party with our friends all weekend because I want to do art!" I was nervous to assert my need (I think it was the fear of asserting a need that made me cry), but luckily hy was totally supportive, and encouraged me to tell hym sooner next time I started to feel this way.
Another question to think about:
What makes you unhappy and how much of your daily life is spent engaged in it?
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Making art
Writing
Spicy food
Chocolate
Nature
Reading
Time with my boifriend
Laughing with friends
Group energy at parties
Cleaning my apartment
Watching t.v.
Going to the Movies
Playing with my cats
Taking Baths
Getting letters
Working with Children
Time with family
I wonder what the order of our lists mean? I know that I have felt like I have no time for doing art (including letter writing/decorating envelopes) and I don't like that. I even called my boifriend up crying and said, "You can go out but I can't party with our friends all weekend because I want to do art!" I was nervous to assert my need (I think it was the fear of asserting a need that made me cry), but luckily hy was totally supportive, and encouraged me to tell hym sooner next time I started to feel this way.
Another question to think about:
What makes you unhappy and how much of your daily life is spent engaged in it?
