Saturday, December 03, 2005
What is Flirting?
In past posts, I have written about my own bafflement over whether or not people were flirting with me. But lately, I have been equally as perplexed as to whether or not I am flirting!
C and I had Thanksgiving with her extended family out of state. I'd only been to one other family gathering of hers of this size before. That one had been tolerable enough, though her family seemed less than friendly with me. So I was kind of nervous about this visit. I assumed they weren't too keen on the lesbian aspect of my relationship with C and wasn't expecting their attitudes would have changed much in the two years that had passed. I will jump to the punchline, as that isn't the point of my story - this Thanksgiving was an entirely different experience. I got tight bear-hugs and warm welcomes from everyone. I had a fantastic time. In fact, C and her Mom finally had to drag me away from the party.
I spent most of the time playing board games with C's cousin, C's uncle and the two husbands of C's two cousins. We had a blast playing games I'd never heard of - Mad Gab; a board game that was similar to Othello but with two decks of playing cards involved (I can't remember the name of it); and a word-association game that I can't remember the name of either. Anyway... One of C's cousins' husbands was playing a fierce hand with his cards. I started to tease him. His moves were so fast that I frequently had to ask if it was my turn, because he moved like Flash Lightening and I didn't even see him take his turn. So I think I was partly teasing him because I was embarassed by my apparent lack of concentration on the game. Though, I'll admit - he was also quite hot. ;-) So the question I pondered later - Was I flirting? I have definitely been known to use teasing as a flirtation strategy in the past. But I wasn't really meaning to flirt. Well, no more than with anyone else at this family gathering. Though, again... he was hot. ;-) So I guess that is what throws me off. Is flirting about intention or about attraction or about something else entirely? And if it's about intention, then what is the intention exactly?
What is flirting?
C and I had Thanksgiving with her extended family out of state. I'd only been to one other family gathering of hers of this size before. That one had been tolerable enough, though her family seemed less than friendly with me. So I was kind of nervous about this visit. I assumed they weren't too keen on the lesbian aspect of my relationship with C and wasn't expecting their attitudes would have changed much in the two years that had passed. I will jump to the punchline, as that isn't the point of my story - this Thanksgiving was an entirely different experience. I got tight bear-hugs and warm welcomes from everyone. I had a fantastic time. In fact, C and her Mom finally had to drag me away from the party.
I spent most of the time playing board games with C's cousin, C's uncle and the two husbands of C's two cousins. We had a blast playing games I'd never heard of - Mad Gab; a board game that was similar to Othello but with two decks of playing cards involved (I can't remember the name of it); and a word-association game that I can't remember the name of either. Anyway... One of C's cousins' husbands was playing a fierce hand with his cards. I started to tease him. His moves were so fast that I frequently had to ask if it was my turn, because he moved like Flash Lightening and I didn't even see him take his turn. So I think I was partly teasing him because I was embarassed by my apparent lack of concentration on the game. Though, I'll admit - he was also quite hot. ;-) So the question I pondered later - Was I flirting? I have definitely been known to use teasing as a flirtation strategy in the past. But I wasn't really meaning to flirt. Well, no more than with anyone else at this family gathering. Though, again... he was hot. ;-) So I guess that is what throws me off. Is flirting about intention or about attraction or about something else entirely? And if it's about intention, then what is the intention exactly?
What is flirting?
Comments:
I once said to my brother that I wish I could be more of a flirt. He said, you are so much of a flirt you make inanimate objjects feel special.
Is there such a thing as not flirting?
Is there such a thing as not flirting?
Flirting is rather objective. Some people take a polite smile as flirting while others are so dead they don't get the hint until you have your hand down their pants. I think what it comes down to is intention, whether to tease, or seduce.
-G
-G
i think you have the same problem i do.
it's not that you flirt all the time, it just happens to be that you're flirtatious.
you do things that are not flirting but can be interprerated thusly.
it's not that you flirt all the time, it just happens to be that you're flirtatious.
you do things that are not flirting but can be interprerated thusly.
flirting is as flirting does.
by nature, humans are a flirty bunch, goes back to the cavemen days for sure....physical attraction, emotional need....it's all fine if done in good fun and without an actual EXPECTATION for reciprocation...if it IS reciprocated...that's sweet and can definitely boost the ego....but it should NEVER be mistaken for LOVE...or COMMITTMENT...no joke, i'm sure people have...lol....flirty is fun...i'm the WORST...i am an incessant flirt...but with good intentions and a little self indulgence....hey...take it where u can right? maybe. :) cheers hon.
by nature, humans are a flirty bunch, goes back to the cavemen days for sure....physical attraction, emotional need....it's all fine if done in good fun and without an actual EXPECTATION for reciprocation...if it IS reciprocated...that's sweet and can definitely boost the ego....but it should NEVER be mistaken for LOVE...or COMMITTMENT...no joke, i'm sure people have...lol....flirty is fun...i'm the WORST...i am an incessant flirt...but with good intentions and a little self indulgence....hey...take it where u can right? maybe. :) cheers hon.
ahhh the peppering of post tease! like the hint of return, then the smashing of hope!
hehe<- i am getting ready for an acting role tomorrow. Are ye starten' 'er back up lil' miss?
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hehe<- i am getting ready for an acting role tomorrow. Are ye starten' 'er back up lil' miss?