Friday, July 15, 2005
Sexuality and Aging
I have recently had the opportunity as a nurse to meet with older men and women and engage in some frank discussions about their sex lives.
In the questionnaire they filled out, the most intriguing pattern emerged:
Are you married? Yes
Are you sexually active? No
Perhaps intriguing is the wrong word. Disturbing and sad might be more appropriate. I mean, C and I definitely don't have sex as often as we used to when we first got together 8 years ago, but these people really scared me. I pray they are not symbolic of my future.
I mostly spoke with men in their 70's, suffering from erectile dysfunction, though interestingly enough, these were not the same people who professed to not being sexually active. I was stunned (and impressed) by how open these older men were in telling me, a woman less than half their age, about their sex lives.
One 76-year-old patient with erectile dysfunction told me (barely a minute after I introduced myself), "I was very sexual in my youth, so I figured I'd gotten more than my share already. I'd pretty much given up hope. But then I learned how to pleasure my lady friend with my finger."
I have to say, I hope most men don't wait until they're 76 to learn how to "pleasure their lady friends."
Please, tell me it ain't so.
But just to reassure you all, there is sex in our futures. There were many elderly who were still having sex. And almost all of the men with erectile dysfunction found treatments that they reported were successful for them.
In the questionnaire they filled out, the most intriguing pattern emerged:
Are you married? Yes
Are you sexually active? No
Perhaps intriguing is the wrong word. Disturbing and sad might be more appropriate. I mean, C and I definitely don't have sex as often as we used to when we first got together 8 years ago, but these people really scared me. I pray they are not symbolic of my future.
I mostly spoke with men in their 70's, suffering from erectile dysfunction, though interestingly enough, these were not the same people who professed to not being sexually active. I was stunned (and impressed) by how open these older men were in telling me, a woman less than half their age, about their sex lives.
One 76-year-old patient with erectile dysfunction told me (barely a minute after I introduced myself), "I was very sexual in my youth, so I figured I'd gotten more than my share already. I'd pretty much given up hope. But then I learned how to pleasure my lady friend with my finger."
I have to say, I hope most men don't wait until they're 76 to learn how to "pleasure their lady friends."
Please, tell me it ain't so.
But just to reassure you all, there is sex in our futures. There were many elderly who were still having sex. And almost all of the men with erectile dysfunction found treatments that they reported were successful for them.
Comments:
I understand that you're a nurse, and clinical, and all that.
I am not, and so am free to go "ewwwww! Old People's Doin' It! Ew ew ew ew ew!!!"
I am not, and so am free to go "ewwwww! Old People's Doin' It! Ew ew ew ew ew!!!"
Sex is the wave of the future!! And the past... and the present... and...
Ah, hell. Sex is all that matters!!! ;)
Ah, hell. Sex is all that matters!!! ;)
well thank goodness!! that's crazy how open they are but then as you get older you get this 'tell hell with it' attitude which i couldn't agree with more. :)
learned how to pleasure his lady friend with his finger. that's awsome.
keep in mind that in the majory of health classes, even ones being taught today, the clitorus isn't even mentioned. most sex ed only teached reproduction and disease, nothing about pleasure. and well all know that's what the clitorus is all about.
keep in mind that in the majory of health classes, even ones being taught today, the clitorus isn't even mentioned. most sex ed only teached reproduction and disease, nothing about pleasure. and well all know that's what the clitorus is all about.
transience - An admirable goal and one I hope to achieve as well!
indigo - okay. our score so far is one point for the golden years boys and one point for our younger generation. :-)
Tesco - I'm just glad to know that everyone is still humping. That may be you someday, old man! ;-)
Gulnaz - I don't think you have anything to worry about, ye mistress of monsoons. ;-)
Ben - Now, dear friend, I hope that your reaction to old people having sex changes by the time that you are one. Otherwise you may be in for a decade or two of dry years. ;-)
Debra - I'm still waiting... ;-)
f - Well, I'm not sure i'd go *that* far, but I, for one, would not want to live without it.
Jenny - Totally! I sure hope they are, as C and I obviously woul be more applicable to that group of elderly.
Lorena - I'll drink to that!
Exile - Yes, sex ed is sorely lacking in the most vital information. ;-)
indigo - okay. our score so far is one point for the golden years boys and one point for our younger generation. :-)
Tesco - I'm just glad to know that everyone is still humping. That may be you someday, old man! ;-)
Gulnaz - I don't think you have anything to worry about, ye mistress of monsoons. ;-)
Ben - Now, dear friend, I hope that your reaction to old people having sex changes by the time that you are one. Otherwise you may be in for a decade or two of dry years. ;-)
Debra - I'm still waiting... ;-)
f - Well, I'm not sure i'd go *that* far, but I, for one, would not want to live without it.
Jenny - Totally! I sure hope they are, as C and I obviously woul be more applicable to that group of elderly.
Lorena - I'll drink to that!
Exile - Yes, sex ed is sorely lacking in the most vital information. ;-)
.... oh, ew!
I mean, for one how can you type "I've learned how to pleasure my lady friend with my finger" without laughing until you cried, RN?
I mean, for one how can you type "I've learned how to pleasure my lady friend with my finger" without laughing until you cried, RN?
You crack me up! This survey you did was quite Kinseyesque.
You and C should check out a movie called "Knots", I think you will like it.
You and C should check out a movie called "Knots", I think you will like it.
FRA - At the time the guy said it, I couldn't get my jaw out of my lap quick enough to laugh. But yeah, I was highly amused once the shock wore off.
Neel - If you say so, I will definitely check it out. Though what is it about?
mt1979 - I wouldn't say "suppose to" be. I mean, it certainly is common enough. But I was very relieved to hear that it wasn't true across the board. I love sex and intend to be one of the few who still has it in my Golden Years.
Neel - If you say so, I will definitely check it out. Though what is it about?
mt1979 - I wouldn't say "suppose to" be. I mean, it certainly is common enough. But I was very relieved to hear that it wasn't true across the board. I love sex and intend to be one of the few who still has it in my Golden Years.
I hope to be having sex right up to the end baby....course, I'll be taking damn good care of myself, like Sophia Loren, or the likes, exercising, eating healthy, face lifts, botox, liposuction, tucks, jk jk....seriously people have to feel good about themselves in order to enjoy "things"...so maybe that was part of the downfall of the sex life of some (not the ones w/dysfuntion).....I'm game til death......course I hope to die before any major mental or physcial damage occurs. am I asking for too much? ;)
I don't know. There becomes a different level of intimacy. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing at all. However, I've read about how important sex is to the wholeness of a human being. I don't know - maybe we need to have sex with other people when it wanes with our spouse?
Spitting in a Wishing Well
Spitting in a Wishing Well
i'm with mitzee
the only difference is that i want to acctually die from it.
i want it to go down in medical books that i had so much sex it killed me.
i don't know how much sex it will take but i wanna find out.
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the only difference is that i want to acctually die from it.
i want it to go down in medical books that i had so much sex it killed me.
i don't know how much sex it will take but i wanna find out.