Tuesday, July 26, 2005
it's killing me
7/24/05 7:30pm was 49.5 hours ago. That feels like something.
However 7/25/05 2:46pm was only frickin' 30.25 hours ago.
The emptiness and sorrow have made time stand still and spin, making me so motion sick, I want to puke.
I'm not looking too pretty today. Though on the outside, everyone swears I seem so normal, I feel like my hair is standing on end and the tears have permanently stained my face. And that's not to mention the short temper that's crawled determinedly into newly formed creases in my brow.
Got through two damn, fuckin' intense life crises today, though. And sat through the terror and anxiety of them both. On my own two feet. I don't want to write about either.
[sigh]
Why am I writing this? Who am I writing it for?
Regaining one's sanity is a rather embarassing and shameful experience. Do I really want this exposed to the world? But if I hide it, what else is there to say to you?
However 7/25/05 2:46pm was only frickin' 30.25 hours ago.
The emptiness and sorrow have made time stand still and spin, making me so motion sick, I want to puke.
I'm not looking too pretty today. Though on the outside, everyone swears I seem so normal, I feel like my hair is standing on end and the tears have permanently stained my face. And that's not to mention the short temper that's crawled determinedly into newly formed creases in my brow.
Got through two damn, fuckin' intense life crises today, though. And sat through the terror and anxiety of them both. On my own two feet. I don't want to write about either.
[sigh]
Why am I writing this? Who am I writing it for?
Regaining one's sanity is a rather embarassing and shameful experience. Do I really want this exposed to the world? But if I hide it, what else is there to say to you?
Comments:
The best writing is the darkest in my humble opinion, but of course, I send you lots of love and hope that you feel better real soon.
the best writing does seem to come out of bad experiences. and good writing is sometimes the only consolation depressive writers get ;) i wish you well but know you'll be ok, just think and write. but only while either serves a purpose...
ps: i did have fun in london (norway too), thanks for visiting my blog :)
ps: i did have fun in london (norway too), thanks for visiting my blog :)
oh sweetie....you definitely dont sound good....i hope you are feeling better. just take care of yourself, you will be ok. i have been sad myself lately.
i think you are writing because it's good therapy :) i hope you feel better soon. seems many people are having bad days, summertime blues?? TAKE CARE :)
i've been away for a while and it absolutely sucks when you're not there for a friend when she's down. i hope you feel better soon, dear. always here if you need an ear. *hugs*
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