Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Group Sex: Anonymous or Among Friends?
Today is my birthday, so I get to talk about whatever the hell I want, right?
Recently, I have experienced a rash of conversation on orgies.
Most recently, the topic came up while catching a ride home with a co-worker. The subject seemed to jump up out of the blue.
Katherine: My friend and I used to have threesomes all of the time. But she is kind of skanky, so I always had to be drunk. Though that came with its own risks. We always used condoms, but later I would always worry about the double dip; I just don't know where all this friend had been.
ME (jaw on my lap, eyes bugged out): Huh.
I mean, I don't know this co-worker all *that* well. Well, at least I hadn't until that moment. But I was curious - why had this topic come up yet again?
The first time orgies came up was during drinks with KitKat and S. No surprise there. Having drinks with two hotties like them, how couldn't my mind go there, right? ;-)
The conversation quickly came to the question of whether group sex was better when it's anonymous or when it's among friends or including a lover.
Having gone to a college where "free love" ran rampant, I had the opportunity to experience the friend-orgy. Although there was a large share of friendly hesitancy and an overwhelming abundance of post-coital awkwardness, I don't regret it. I loved almost all of the people who were there and still love a few of them now, despite falling-outs, distance, moves, infrequent visits and the like.
Then, during a summer in San Francisco (years before I married C or moved here), I had the opportunity to entertain an anonymous orgy. No hesitations. No awkwardness afterwards as I never saw any of those women again. No love. But still no regrets.
But I have never even had a threesome with a partner or lover, so I don't know how the group thing works out when you're in love or at least ongoing lust with one of the participants. I have definitely heard a fair share of problems and fights stemming from those experiences, however.
So what do you think? Even if you've never had any of the three - would you prefer an orgy among friends, lovers, or strangers?
Recently, I have experienced a rash of conversation on orgies.
Most recently, the topic came up while catching a ride home with a co-worker. The subject seemed to jump up out of the blue.
Katherine: My friend and I used to have threesomes all of the time. But she is kind of skanky, so I always had to be drunk. Though that came with its own risks. We always used condoms, but later I would always worry about the double dip; I just don't know where all this friend had been.
ME (jaw on my lap, eyes bugged out): Huh.
I mean, I don't know this co-worker all *that* well. Well, at least I hadn't until that moment. But I was curious - why had this topic come up yet again?
The first time orgies came up was during drinks with KitKat and S. No surprise there. Having drinks with two hotties like them, how couldn't my mind go there, right? ;-)
The conversation quickly came to the question of whether group sex was better when it's anonymous or when it's among friends or including a lover.
Having gone to a college where "free love" ran rampant, I had the opportunity to experience the friend-orgy. Although there was a large share of friendly hesitancy and an overwhelming abundance of post-coital awkwardness, I don't regret it. I loved almost all of the people who were there and still love a few of them now, despite falling-outs, distance, moves, infrequent visits and the like.
Then, during a summer in San Francisco (years before I married C or moved here), I had the opportunity to entertain an anonymous orgy. No hesitations. No awkwardness afterwards as I never saw any of those women again. No love. But still no regrets.
But I have never even had a threesome with a partner or lover, so I don't know how the group thing works out when you're in love or at least ongoing lust with one of the participants. I have definitely heard a fair share of problems and fights stemming from those experiences, however.
So what do you think? Even if you've never had any of the three - would you prefer an orgy among friends, lovers, or strangers?
Comments:
My first wife and I wife-swapped a bit. I think we married too young. I was a randy kid! It all ended in tears.
In the end when you find the right person - my present wife - my true love - I don't think you need that sexual buzz quite the same.
It was fun at the time tho'.
I wonder if group sex is some complicated way for our deep selves to find the truth.
I dunno.
Happy Birthday!!!!!
In the end when you find the right person - my present wife - my true love - I don't think you need that sexual buzz quite the same.
It was fun at the time tho'.
I wonder if group sex is some complicated way for our deep selves to find the truth.
I dunno.
Happy Birthday!!!!!
For me, I'd have to go with either strangers or friends. I've never been in a group sex situation with someone I was romantically involved with. I could do it, I'm sure, but I don't think things like that are quite as fun when there are confusing emotional attachments that could get in the way of a good time and cause turmoil down the road. I don't know, that's just me. Group sex with strangers = excellent. Group sex with friends = a great time, as well. Group sex with a lover = possibilities of awkwardness /misunderstandings. It can work, it's just not my personal ideal.
i would say with strangers but most preferred acquaintances, as they are not complete strangers or friends either.
Not only do you get to say what you want on your b-day, you also get to do whatever you want, too. Happy B-Day! Threesomes are best with strangers. No muss, no fuss. I can't believe she said "double dip" LOL!!!
Spitting in a Wishing Well
Spitting in a Wishing Well
i'd keep it anonymous. i suppose i still have a lot of issues with the post-coital thing. anyway, interesting birthday post. and happy birthday! all my love!
i don't particularly like groups sex. i don't like waiting for my turn. but that's just me. impatience will kill my sex life.
happy happy birthday! :)
to answer your question: i'd go for all the above, all at once. friends, lovers, strangers...i'm a glutton for good times.
(never been in one though...)
happy birthday again !!! =)
to answer your question: i'd go for all the above, all at once. friends, lovers, strangers...i'm a glutton for good times.
(never been in one though...)
happy birthday again !!! =)
happy belated b-day
yes it can work with a lover. you must make sure that A) you both know what you're doing, B) the other person is a stranger, and C) you treat the other person as nothing more than a sex toy that will leave after your done.
after all, do you really want to lay with person post-coitous?
yes it can work with a lover. you must make sure that A) you both know what you're doing, B) the other person is a stranger, and C) you treat the other person as nothing more than a sex toy that will leave after your done.
after all, do you really want to lay with person post-coitous?
I'd say among friends that are not your lifelong best friends, but of the "partying together" nature....what I mean is, I'd prefer to "sort of" know who I'm getting involved with, but not have the whole, "fuck I just fucked my friends" guilt. it's tricky. if your friends are cool and open minded than that is def the way to go, if not, go the stranger route....no love loss there....but wear condoms and seran wrap...yo....big time! ;)
# posted by 
: 7:42 PM
: 7:42 PM
btw happy birthday and mussolini makes a very good point....I too hate waiting for my turn....that's why u have to get right in there. ;)
# posted by : 7:44 PM
: 7:44 PM
Roger - I have been faithfully married to my true love for 8 years. And thank god we still have a sexual buzz between us. I, however, have always believed in polyamory. So I must love my wife an awful damn lot to have been monogamous for 8 years despite my beliefs to the contrary.
Layla X - yes, I think I am in agreement with you. But now that I'm happily married, it seems sad that group sex now evades me.
Lorena - Now that sounds like the best of both worlds!
Sssss teeee ay - I couldn't believe she said it either. I think that's mostly what got my jaw to fall to my lap!
Mari - Good point! No, I wouldn't want to know if my friends were bad lovers.
Transience - I would imagine anonymity might be hard for you to achieve given the success of your blog! ;-)
Mussolini - Why wait? Just dive right on in! ;-)
Indigo - Hmmmm... Great idea. Now would this be a cyber-orgy or are we talking off-line contact here? ;-)
Stella - You go girl!
Exile - So, is this advice from experience? ;-)
Mitzzee - Thank you for the reminder. Yes, everyone, always remember safe sex!!!!!
Layla X - yes, I think I am in agreement with you. But now that I'm happily married, it seems sad that group sex now evades me.
Lorena - Now that sounds like the best of both worlds!
Sssss teeee ay - I couldn't believe she said it either. I think that's mostly what got my jaw to fall to my lap!
Mari - Good point! No, I wouldn't want to know if my friends were bad lovers.
Transience - I would imagine anonymity might be hard for you to achieve given the success of your blog! ;-)
Mussolini - Why wait? Just dive right on in! ;-)
Indigo - Hmmmm... Great idea. Now would this be a cyber-orgy or are we talking off-line contact here? ;-)
Stella - You go girl!
Exile - So, is this advice from experience? ;-)
Mitzzee - Thank you for the reminder. Yes, everyone, always remember safe sex!!!!!
sk8rn- i'm acctually going to write a book about a guy who lives the 3 some life style. so i'm probably going to do some research into it. *wink*
Happy belated birthday, Sk8-rn! I just sent you a snail mail, but not birthday-related so expect something late for your birthday. Sorry! Thank goodness you were born, or my life would be missing all the many pleasures you bring to it. Love you!
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