Tuesday, June 21, 2005
I Can Be a Bitch
I met Jason when I was dating his best friend Cole. Jason would blush awkwardly whenever he was around me. I think he waited about a week after Cole and I broke up before he asked me out.
Jason was just not my type. His wirey body with its frantic, caffeinated energy put me on edge. And although I like men (and women) around my own height (5'4"), I'm not as comfortable when I can see the top of a man's head while we're both standing.
When summer hit, I lost my job at the movie theater. Well, lost is one way of putting it. I just stopped showing up.
I was just out of high school and didn't yet understand the connection between making money and feeding myself. I'd only managed to pay rent because I was in a car accident and the other driver had had to pay me for the medical bill for my whiplash.
I was broke.
I was starving.
I'd been living off of boxes of popcorn at the movie theater. But since I no longer had that job, I was down to bowls of rice, courtesy of my roommates who kept a rice cooker full of rice warm at all times.
But I wanted a real meal.
In desperation, I called Jason.
It was the lowest of the low. This was my rock bottom in life. I figured Jason was a sure thing for a date. And thus? A sure thing for a free meal.
I called him up to "say hi." And of course, he asked me out. Well, I believe his words were "can we hang out sometime?"
We didn't make specific plans, but he met me at my apartment the next evening.
"I'm really hungry. Do you mind if we head over to McDonald's?" I didn't want to push my luck by asking for a free meal at a nice restaurant. I was using him. I knew I was using him. I wanted to make the interaction as painless as possible for both of us. And McDonald's would... well, minimize my time spent with him while going light on his pocketbook.
When we got to the front of the line, I placed my order.
"What are you getting?" I asked him.
"Oh, nothing. I'm alright."
I thought that was odd, but just shrugged.
"Okay, your total is $3.60," the clerk read the price from the register's screen.
I turned to Jason. He looked back startled and shoved his hands into his pockets.
"I don't have any money," he told me.
"What? I thought this was a date?" I asked shocked and mortified.
I turned back to the cashier with crimson cheeks, "I'm sorry, you'll have to cancel my order."
I had Jason take me home immediately. I needed to hibernate in my bedroom for a few hours to recover from the horror of the experience.
Jason walked me to the door of my apartment. As I stepped through and turned around to say goodbye, Jason postured for a kiss.
"What?"
"Don't I get a kiss?" he asked, smooth as sandpaper.
"No."
I was about the close the door on him. As I looked at him, pity struck my heart. I couldn't be so cruel. "I don't kiss on the first date," I added to satiate his ego.
"Well, I can wait," he said pleasantly as I shut the door.
Well? He's still waiting.
Jason was just not my type. His wirey body with its frantic, caffeinated energy put me on edge. And although I like men (and women) around my own height (5'4"), I'm not as comfortable when I can see the top of a man's head while we're both standing.
When summer hit, I lost my job at the movie theater. Well, lost is one way of putting it. I just stopped showing up.
I was just out of high school and didn't yet understand the connection between making money and feeding myself. I'd only managed to pay rent because I was in a car accident and the other driver had had to pay me for the medical bill for my whiplash.
I was broke.
I was starving.
I'd been living off of boxes of popcorn at the movie theater. But since I no longer had that job, I was down to bowls of rice, courtesy of my roommates who kept a rice cooker full of rice warm at all times.
But I wanted a real meal.
In desperation, I called Jason.
It was the lowest of the low. This was my rock bottom in life. I figured Jason was a sure thing for a date. And thus? A sure thing for a free meal.
I called him up to "say hi." And of course, he asked me out. Well, I believe his words were "can we hang out sometime?"
We didn't make specific plans, but he met me at my apartment the next evening.
"I'm really hungry. Do you mind if we head over to McDonald's?" I didn't want to push my luck by asking for a free meal at a nice restaurant. I was using him. I knew I was using him. I wanted to make the interaction as painless as possible for both of us. And McDonald's would... well, minimize my time spent with him while going light on his pocketbook.
When we got to the front of the line, I placed my order.
"What are you getting?" I asked him.
"Oh, nothing. I'm alright."
I thought that was odd, but just shrugged.
"Okay, your total is $3.60," the clerk read the price from the register's screen.
I turned to Jason. He looked back startled and shoved his hands into his pockets.
"I don't have any money," he told me.
"What? I thought this was a date?" I asked shocked and mortified.
I turned back to the cashier with crimson cheeks, "I'm sorry, you'll have to cancel my order."
I had Jason take me home immediately. I needed to hibernate in my bedroom for a few hours to recover from the horror of the experience.
Jason walked me to the door of my apartment. As I stepped through and turned around to say goodbye, Jason postured for a kiss.
"What?"
"Don't I get a kiss?" he asked, smooth as sandpaper.
"No."
I was about the close the door on him. As I looked at him, pity struck my heart. I couldn't be so cruel. "I don't kiss on the first date," I added to satiate his ego.
"Well, I can wait," he said pleasantly as I shut the door.
Well? He's still waiting.
Comments:
what an ending :) poor guy :( !! we can all be bitches although i've never been in this particular way, then again i've never been in your situation. did you ever talk to him after that?
I LOVE IT! He so didn't deserve that kiss...what an ass! What did he expect? I mean really....no money on a date and wanting action? He deserves to still be waiting, even if your intentions were "upfront"....I'm sure you would have given some kissy face had he at least had $5.00 in his pocket......jeesh.... ;)
# posted by 
: 8:36 PM
: 8:36 PM
I met a girl once who didn't want to kiss on the first date so I asked her "Do you kiss on the last date???"
This writing is so wonderful. I love the title and the ending. I love how sad and funny it is at the same time. I don't think you were a bitch, just taking care of yourself in a smart way for a teenage girl on her own ;).
what an awesome story. totally unexpected....haha, i can't believe he tried to kiss you goodnight. well, maybe i can. ;)
Lorena - Yeah, I feel kind of bad for the guy now that I'm older and more mature. I hope he's having a little better luck with the ladies these days. No, I never talked to him again. I have been in touch with my ex, his best friend Cole.
Transience - Yeah. This date was brutal in so many ways. ;-)
Mitzzee - LOL. I am still perplexed as to why he asked me out and didn't bring money with him. Perhaps he should have pre-planned something that wouldn't require money. Like, "Why don't we meet and go on a hike?" or something that specifically would not have me expecting to be fed. Of course, I probably would never have agreed to it, but his intentions would have been clearer.
Jax - LOL. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Fortunately, I have become a little more mature since I was 17 years old. I'd say - well, avoid dating 17 year old girls. That's good advice in many, many ways. ;-)
Gulnaz - Thank you! Though I do feel some pity for him still.
Alex - LOL. That is hysterical and oh so appropriate. Of course, in his case, the answer would have been the same. ;-)
JennyNYC - Thank you so much for the compliments and understanding the predicament I was in as a starving teenage girl.
Stella - Hmmm... Wow. I am trying to imagine that same situation on a date with a woman. Yeah, actually, I can say I've met women like Jason, too. Well, and obviously I once was that woman. ;-)
Transience - Yeah. This date was brutal in so many ways. ;-)
Mitzzee - LOL. I am still perplexed as to why he asked me out and didn't bring money with him. Perhaps he should have pre-planned something that wouldn't require money. Like, "Why don't we meet and go on a hike?" or something that specifically would not have me expecting to be fed. Of course, I probably would never have agreed to it, but his intentions would have been clearer.
Jax - LOL. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Fortunately, I have become a little more mature since I was 17 years old. I'd say - well, avoid dating 17 year old girls. That's good advice in many, many ways. ;-)
Gulnaz - Thank you! Though I do feel some pity for him still.
Alex - LOL. That is hysterical and oh so appropriate. Of course, in his case, the answer would have been the same. ;-)
JennyNYC - Thank you so much for the compliments and understanding the predicament I was in as a starving teenage girl.
Stella - Hmmm... Wow. I am trying to imagine that same situation on a date with a woman. Yeah, actually, I can say I've met women like Jason, too. Well, and obviously I once was that woman. ;-)
but he didn't ask you out, you asked him. you called him to go out, and intended on using him for macdonalds.
to be honest, aside form the lack of tact in asking for the kiss, you guys were on par with one another.
i would be offended if a girl called me to go out only to get me to feed her. if she honestly said, i really hungry and broke i'd help out, but there was no need to trick.
think about it like this, if he had the money and paid for your food, would you have really gone out with him?
(keep in mind, i know you were only 17 at the time. at that age stuff like this is excuseable.)
i love the blog, don't hate me
to be honest, aside form the lack of tact in asking for the kiss, you guys were on par with one another.
i would be offended if a girl called me to go out only to get me to feed her. if she honestly said, i really hungry and broke i'd help out, but there was no need to trick.
think about it like this, if he had the money and paid for your food, would you have really gone out with him?
(keep in mind, i know you were only 17 at the time. at that age stuff like this is excuseable.)
i love the blog, don't hate me
exile - Actually, although I made the phone call putting us into contact, he was the one who asked me out. I was just calling "to say hi." :-) Albeit, I knew he would ask me out if I called.
skinned - Wow. I'm so tickled to have amused you so! ;-)
skinned - Wow. I'm so tickled to have amused you so! ;-)
i think everyone should try and pay for their own meal, then allow the argument to follow to stand testiment to how interested you are in the other person.
expecting your meal to be paid for is just wrong
but then again i'm cheap and don't date much
expecting your meal to be paid for is just wrong
but then again i'm cheap and don't date much
Tesco - Thank you! That's the best spin on this story that I've heard. If I was his "wake-up call," then perhaps I can let go of the shame I've felt for being so self-centered. You made my day!
Oh well. Hey, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Lots of people have done tons worse for money.
On the other hand, I was in a similar situation recently, unfortunately. I was talking to someone, and she asked me to meet her - I thought it was her inviting me out, afterall. And, I told her I was interested in a friend, anyway. When the check came, I told her I hoped she didn't mind that we pay separately - just to be clear - I didn't want us to get our wires crossed at this point, even though I liked her. She scoffed, and tried to play it off, but I knew she was disappointed. Or, I don't know, maybe she was offended that I brought it up. The world may never know because she WOULDN'T BE HONEST about it. She left shortly thereafter with some lie about having to go home early, and I never heard from her again.
Cow.
Spitting in a Wishing Well
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On the other hand, I was in a similar situation recently, unfortunately. I was talking to someone, and she asked me to meet her - I thought it was her inviting me out, afterall. And, I told her I was interested in a friend, anyway. When the check came, I told her I hoped she didn't mind that we pay separately - just to be clear - I didn't want us to get our wires crossed at this point, even though I liked her. She scoffed, and tried to play it off, but I knew she was disappointed. Or, I don't know, maybe she was offended that I brought it up. The world may never know because she WOULDN'T BE HONEST about it. She left shortly thereafter with some lie about having to go home early, and I never heard from her again.
Cow.
Spitting in a Wishing Well
