Saturday, February 05, 2005
My Neuroses
I have this habit of talking to myself. I don't do it constantly. There seem to be certain circumstances that it manifests in. For instance, when I'm having a busy day at work or doing something at work that requires a little more thought - I'll talk about what I'm doing out loud. Sometimes there is a good side effect. For instance, the patient may be reassured by my explanations. Although sometimes I end up giving them more information than they really want or need to know.
Another circumstance is when I'm running late. I'll be running to catch my bus, mumbling, "Please let it be there." Or if I miss the bus, I'll curse out loud. And talk about how annoying public transit can be.
Another circumstance is when a song gets stuck in my head. Sometimes I can't resist the desire to sing it out loud, even if I'm walking down the street. Though I only do this when I think no one is within ear shot. Though the singing seems more a lack of inhibition than the neurotic self-banter.
But I have to say, the advent of the cell phone has helped. No, not because I call people constantly.
When people first got headsets, I thought San Francisco had a recent influx of mentally ill residents - so many people were suddenly talking to themselves. But I got used to it; I stopped searching their bodies for the tell-tale chords and the phone on their waist-band. And I keep hoping that when I get caught talking to myself in public, people will just assume I'm wearing a headset for my cell phone, too. Though I guess that won't work at my job. Oh, well. I'll take what I can get.
Another circumstance is when I'm running late. I'll be running to catch my bus, mumbling, "Please let it be there." Or if I miss the bus, I'll curse out loud. And talk about how annoying public transit can be.
Another circumstance is when a song gets stuck in my head. Sometimes I can't resist the desire to sing it out loud, even if I'm walking down the street. Though I only do this when I think no one is within ear shot. Though the singing seems more a lack of inhibition than the neurotic self-banter.
But I have to say, the advent of the cell phone has helped. No, not because I call people constantly.
When people first got headsets, I thought San Francisco had a recent influx of mentally ill residents - so many people were suddenly talking to themselves. But I got used to it; I stopped searching their bodies for the tell-tale chords and the phone on their waist-band. And I keep hoping that when I get caught talking to myself in public, people will just assume I'm wearing a headset for my cell phone, too. Though I guess that won't work at my job. Oh, well. I'll take what I can get.
Comments:
I talk to myself a lot. Of course, at home my excuse is that I'm talking to the cats. When I catch myself talking to myself on the street, it's sometimes a little scary. I don't know if talking to oneself is a bad thing, as long as we can hold back when we need to. I do have an instance now and then where someone at work will say, "What?" and I say, "Oh, sorry, I'm just talking to myself." I'm assuming it's pretty normal, not all that neurotic. But maybe that's because I've logged in so much time with psychiatric patients...LOL. I fit right in!
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