Pandora's Box

Okay, I'm going to tell you a secret. Some of you aren't going to like it. But... I was in Maryland this past weekend. I know, I know. I didn't get in touch with any of my friends while I was in town. I am a very bad person. Although it was truly my loss, so if you get mad, it'll only be worse for me. I had made this stupid bet with my mother the last time she was in town. I thought if she could refrain from consuming caffeine she wouldn't be as grouchy and miserable to be around. Well, I was wrong. But unfortunately, we'd already placed the bet.

ME: If you can stay off caffeine for the entire week, I will buy a plane ticket to come visit you in December.

MOM: You're on. But only if you agree to spend the entire time with me. That means you can't even spend the night at your sister's.

My Mom is incredibly nuts. Can you imagine trying to deny your daughter from seeing her sibling? Well, I did manage to see my sister, but always in the company of my mother. Why did I agree to such ludicrous stipulations on the bet? Perhaps I didn't think she could honestly do it.

On top of (or because of?) the strict parameters for this visit, I managed to come down with laryngitis my first day there. The effect of my whispering on my parents was *fascinating*. They would start to fighting (with one another or with me) and I would have to whisper my arguments. They would get very silent so that they could hear me. And then... they would stay silent. I think they were actually giving serious thought to what I had to say for the first time in my life. I was mesmerized by the power of my whisper. I may have to come down with laryngitis every time I visit them!

As for my friends in Maryland, I am sorry I didn't get to see you while I was in town. It was a quick trip. And I couldn't even talk to call you on the phone. My family had to order for me at restaurants, place all of my phone calls, etc. Seriously. But I do hope to be back soon - without any bizarr-o bets placing any restrictions on my plans - and will definitely plan to see you then. In the meantime, you know there is always a futon in my living room waiting for you in San Francisco!