Sunday, November 28, 2004
What's the Grossest Thing You've Witnessed?
Okay, this seems like one of those questions that would get tossed around in one's adolescence. But in order to understand the true meaning of the word and to achieve a higher level on the gross Richter scale, try listening as two nurses answer this question, each trying to outdo the other, as was the case when I worked two nights ago.
ME: I once had a patient pee on my shoe.
ANGIE: Well, at least you had a shoe on. I once got a patient's diarrhea on my forearm.
ME: On your bare skin?
ANGIE: Yeap, bare.
ME: Speaking of poo, I once had a colostomy bag clip come loose, pouring its contents - a very liquidy diarrhea - all over the bed linens. That made a pretty mess.
ANGIE: Oh, colostomy bags are the worst.
ME: Give me a colostomy bag any day over vomit. I still have to hold my breath when dumping an emesis basin into the toilet to keep myself from gagging.
ANGIE: What about naso-gastric tubes to suction? Something about all of those gastric contents in that cannister. Half-digested food sometimes floating around in there.
ME: I've actually gotten kind of used to it. Though I certainly don't dilly-dally taking a full cannister down the hall to the biohazard bin. But at least it's contained. You can't smell anything.
ANGIE: Oh, the worst was the patient I had who was bleeding out of his mouth and anus. I had to suction his mouth every half hour and put in a rectal tube to collect all the blood coming out from his anus. And his wife never left the bedside. I don't know how she handled seeing all that.
ME: Are you serious? Okay, that's pretty disturbing. You may have topped me with that one.
What's the grossest thing you've witnessed? (If you've even been able to read this far into this posting).
ME: I once had a patient pee on my shoe.
ANGIE: Well, at least you had a shoe on. I once got a patient's diarrhea on my forearm.
ME: On your bare skin?
ANGIE: Yeap, bare.
ME: Speaking of poo, I once had a colostomy bag clip come loose, pouring its contents - a very liquidy diarrhea - all over the bed linens. That made a pretty mess.
ANGIE: Oh, colostomy bags are the worst.
ME: Give me a colostomy bag any day over vomit. I still have to hold my breath when dumping an emesis basin into the toilet to keep myself from gagging.
ANGIE: What about naso-gastric tubes to suction? Something about all of those gastric contents in that cannister. Half-digested food sometimes floating around in there.
ME: I've actually gotten kind of used to it. Though I certainly don't dilly-dally taking a full cannister down the hall to the biohazard bin. But at least it's contained. You can't smell anything.
ANGIE: Oh, the worst was the patient I had who was bleeding out of his mouth and anus. I had to suction his mouth every half hour and put in a rectal tube to collect all the blood coming out from his anus. And his wife never left the bedside. I don't know how she handled seeing all that.
ME: Are you serious? Okay, that's pretty disturbing. You may have topped me with that one.
What's the grossest thing you've witnessed? (If you've even been able to read this far into this posting).
Comments:
Thanks for your nice comments at my blog! You're always welcome to come visit.
Your post reminds me of a book I'd found in the 80's. Title something like English for Doctors. It had sample conversations. Some of them were a scream.
Doctor: How is the patient's fecal impaction?
Nurse: Not so good.
Doctor: OK. Let's try a (whatever they try). By the way, would you like to accompany me to the hospital dance tonight.
(This is for real! There's were lots more gems, too. Wish I still had the book, but an ex-girlfriend got it).
Your post reminds me of a book I'd found in the 80's. Title something like English for Doctors. It had sample conversations. Some of them were a scream.
Doctor: How is the patient's fecal impaction?
Nurse: Not so good.
Doctor: OK. Let's try a (whatever they try). By the way, would you like to accompany me to the hospital dance tonight.
(This is for real! There's were lots more gems, too. Wish I still had the book, but an ex-girlfriend got it).
This made me think about a related concept, how hospital staff talk about their own bodily lives in a rather graphic way. There is a woman at my job who is near retirement and is not out about being gay...says "friend" not "partner" (stuff like that). Anyway, while not being able to acknowledge the woman as her lover, she was able to tell me quite casually, "I'll be going home early because my friend has very bad diarrhea."
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