Saturday, August 14, 2004
Queers from Yesteryears
C suggested I call this posting "Two Ex's and Someone I Shoveled Shit With," but my mother has started reading my blogs. And I got enough of a fuss from her for using the word "pissed" in a recent blog. So... sorry, Mom. I think C meant shoveling fecal matter. :-)
Though seriously, this has been the month of blasts from the past. I mentioned in a previous blog that a friend from long-ago, Cat, had visited. She's the poop-scooping friend. We worked on a sheep farm together back in 1991 (yikes, I feel old!). And we did, in fact, dig 10 years worth of sheep manure out of a barn. That pile of BM must've been at least two feet high and covered the entire square footage of that barn.
As for the first ex, weirdnesses of all weirdnesses, Deb (one of the gals in my writing group) recently went back to Boston to visit her friends there. (She moved here from Boston a couple of years ago). And when she got back to San Francisco, what news do I hear? Not only am I shocked to learn that Deb is leaving her live-in parter, but I am stunned even more to discover that she is now dating Dorie, my ex from the summer of 1995! Talk about small worlds! Dorie is now in town visiting Deb for the weekend and so tonight,C and I went out to dinner with Dorie and Deb along with Laura (another gal from my writing group) and her partner Coco. I am friends with nearly all of my exes, so it wasn't weird in that way. But I have to say it is strange to have found out that Dorie and Deb have known each other for years. And that Deb was in my writing group for six months before we figured out that we had a friend in common. Is the lesbian community really THAT small?
Then recently, C befriended a woman at the dog park. This is not shocking, as C has befriended just about everyone who has ever brought their canine to Duboce. But what was surprising was the woman's name.
C came home and said, "I met this woman Miko at the dog park. She's really nice and is interested in volunteering for a hospice. You should talk to her about your job. Miko and her partner have this sweet dog named Ella. I can't figure out Miko's ethnicity, though."
"Miko, really?" I grinned, knowingly. "That is a very unusual name. You know, I used to date a Miko one summer back in DC."
"Oh, it can't be the same Miko," C quickly dismissed my quandary.
A couple of days later, I met Miko at Duboce Park. Since we both had our dogs with us, we were both preoccupied with keeping them on good behavior. So although we chatted it up quite a bit, neither of us were able to get a good look at the other.
But now, come on, you must think. With names like ME and Miko, who do these girls think they're kidding, right?
As we left, Miko called out, "It was nice meeting you."
Though this woman's manner of speech seemed different than I'd remembered, I wasn't totally convinced it wasn't her. So I simply responded, "Same here."
But I was torn up with the coincidences. My Miko, as was true with this one, had had a hard to pin-point ethnicity. Having one Japanesse parent and one German, she has a strong, rugby-playing build, straight black hair and a warm olive complexion set off with a lovely sprinkling of freckles across her cheeks. Her manner of speaking was the only thing that threw me.
When I got home, I did what any partner should probably never do. I pulled out the box of old photos from lovers past and dug through it until I uncovered the two of me with Miko. In one, Miko and I are embraced in a very sexy kiss. (It's a great photo, I think). In the other, Miko is in a blur laughing as I am caught on film sucking on her neck. BUT the resemblance was undeniable. I showed the photos to C to prove my point.
"No, I don't think that's her," C insisted. I didn't want to force C to look at images of me getting it on with someone else any longer than she had to (even though she is amazingly free from jealousy 99% of the time). And I didn't want to make things weird between C and her new friend, so I just dropped it.
Then C and I ran into Miko and her partner as we were heading out of the dog park. We stopped briefly to chat and a smile lit up Miko's face that clinched my suspicions.
"That's her," I stated definitively as we walked away. "I have no doubt. That is definitely her. She hadn't smiled that first day at the dog park, but she smiled all summer long back in 1994. I know that smile. That's her."
"Well, why didn't you say something?" C asked bewildered. "The two of you are ridiculous. I can't believe you had a long conversation about death and dying without ever acknowledging that you used to date." C was mystified.
"Well, I don't want it to be weird for the two of you. You're becoming friends," I argued.
"I don't care that you used to date her. The only thing I think is weird is that you two don't talk about it."
I haven't seen Miko since, but C ran into her again the other day.
"So, what did you say?" I asked curiously.
"Well, it kind of came up organically. I don't remember exactly," C stalled. "I think I just said, 'So did you used to live in DC?' and she answered with a curious 'yes.' And I said, 'didn't you used to date ME?' and she said that she had recognized your name, but that you looked so different she didn't think it was you. Apparently she hasn't dated that many women, so you are one of few."
"Well, I tried to keep in touch with her. I sent her a letter once with photos of us. But she never responded. Granted, I was a bit of a player back then and I am not sure how she felt about how things ended."
"Yeah," C admitted. "She said something about how things ended weirdly."
Did I mention that the lesbian community sometimes feels really damn small? Oops, sorry, Mom, I mean "gosh darn" small.
Though seriously, this has been the month of blasts from the past. I mentioned in a previous blog that a friend from long-ago, Cat, had visited. She's the poop-scooping friend. We worked on a sheep farm together back in 1991 (yikes, I feel old!). And we did, in fact, dig 10 years worth of sheep manure out of a barn. That pile of BM must've been at least two feet high and covered the entire square footage of that barn.
As for the first ex, weirdnesses of all weirdnesses, Deb (one of the gals in my writing group) recently went back to Boston to visit her friends there. (She moved here from Boston a couple of years ago). And when she got back to San Francisco, what news do I hear? Not only am I shocked to learn that Deb is leaving her live-in parter, but I am stunned even more to discover that she is now dating Dorie, my ex from the summer of 1995! Talk about small worlds! Dorie is now in town visiting Deb for the weekend and so tonight,C and I went out to dinner with Dorie and Deb along with Laura (another gal from my writing group) and her partner Coco. I am friends with nearly all of my exes, so it wasn't weird in that way. But I have to say it is strange to have found out that Dorie and Deb have known each other for years. And that Deb was in my writing group for six months before we figured out that we had a friend in common. Is the lesbian community really THAT small?
Then recently, C befriended a woman at the dog park. This is not shocking, as C has befriended just about everyone who has ever brought their canine to Duboce. But what was surprising was the woman's name.
C came home and said, "I met this woman Miko at the dog park. She's really nice and is interested in volunteering for a hospice. You should talk to her about your job. Miko and her partner have this sweet dog named Ella. I can't figure out Miko's ethnicity, though."
"Miko, really?" I grinned, knowingly. "That is a very unusual name. You know, I used to date a Miko one summer back in DC."
"Oh, it can't be the same Miko," C quickly dismissed my quandary.
A couple of days later, I met Miko at Duboce Park. Since we both had our dogs with us, we were both preoccupied with keeping them on good behavior. So although we chatted it up quite a bit, neither of us were able to get a good look at the other.
But now, come on, you must think. With names like ME and Miko, who do these girls think they're kidding, right?
As we left, Miko called out, "It was nice meeting you."
Though this woman's manner of speech seemed different than I'd remembered, I wasn't totally convinced it wasn't her. So I simply responded, "Same here."
But I was torn up with the coincidences. My Miko, as was true with this one, had had a hard to pin-point ethnicity. Having one Japanesse parent and one German, she has a strong, rugby-playing build, straight black hair and a warm olive complexion set off with a lovely sprinkling of freckles across her cheeks. Her manner of speaking was the only thing that threw me.
When I got home, I did what any partner should probably never do. I pulled out the box of old photos from lovers past and dug through it until I uncovered the two of me with Miko. In one, Miko and I are embraced in a very sexy kiss. (It's a great photo, I think). In the other, Miko is in a blur laughing as I am caught on film sucking on her neck. BUT the resemblance was undeniable. I showed the photos to C to prove my point.
"No, I don't think that's her," C insisted. I didn't want to force C to look at images of me getting it on with someone else any longer than she had to (even though she is amazingly free from jealousy 99% of the time). And I didn't want to make things weird between C and her new friend, so I just dropped it.
Then C and I ran into Miko and her partner as we were heading out of the dog park. We stopped briefly to chat and a smile lit up Miko's face that clinched my suspicions.
"That's her," I stated definitively as we walked away. "I have no doubt. That is definitely her. She hadn't smiled that first day at the dog park, but she smiled all summer long back in 1994. I know that smile. That's her."
"Well, why didn't you say something?" C asked bewildered. "The two of you are ridiculous. I can't believe you had a long conversation about death and dying without ever acknowledging that you used to date." C was mystified.
"Well, I don't want it to be weird for the two of you. You're becoming friends," I argued.
"I don't care that you used to date her. The only thing I think is weird is that you two don't talk about it."
I haven't seen Miko since, but C ran into her again the other day.
"So, what did you say?" I asked curiously.
"Well, it kind of came up organically. I don't remember exactly," C stalled. "I think I just said, 'So did you used to live in DC?' and she answered with a curious 'yes.' And I said, 'didn't you used to date ME?' and she said that she had recognized your name, but that you looked so different she didn't think it was you. Apparently she hasn't dated that many women, so you are one of few."
"Well, I tried to keep in touch with her. I sent her a letter once with photos of us. But she never responded. Granted, I was a bit of a player back then and I am not sure how she felt about how things ended."
"Yeah," C admitted. "She said something about how things ended weirdly."
Did I mention that the lesbian community sometimes feels really damn small? Oops, sorry, Mom, I mean "gosh darn" small.
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